The Astrology Story Episode 8
"Where am I...?" "Am I dead, am I in la la land?" ......., "what's that sound?" "who's there?" ........"why is there a music band standing in front of me?" "OH....it?s ...it?s..." Intro music of the episode comes on: "it's raining men hallelujah!! it's raining men!!" .......fast forward, oh commercial time, boo! The following program contains sexy language, violence but no nudity. Viewer discretion is advised. Episode 8: The Doodoo Island. In this setting, Pisces B woke up in front of a musical stage, and there are 6 familiar strangers ready to perform their debut album - from left to right - Cancer Tae, (1st person on the left, an adorable person) Lion Sher (2nd person, a charismatic person), an unknown cancer (3rd person, very handsome), Scorpio (4th person, very ugly), EI (5th person, a long girly hair girly male), and HSF (6th person). This is a song dedicated to my homegirl Pisces B, the song title is: "Let's fly in mid-air tonight" "1, 2" 1..., 2 ..........*oooOOOhhh~wooo~wuuuu oh wuuuu* Lion Sher starts off and sing his line: Sher: "They say you are pretty mean~! but for me~ I don't believe it so" Gackt begin his line after Sher!! (revealed himself as another cancer male, he's Bree's favorite idol) he sings: "Lets' allow us two..., HOLD EACH OTHER tenderly deeply closely ~ till forever and ever ~ ooooooooooooh wooooo~ " Scorpio H: "oooh bree, I sing like crap, I ruin the mood I'm so sorry sorry, and I'm so ugly ugly yea!!" EI: "Pisces B, I just want to feel it with you, on this romantic mid-air flight, and let us do ballerina on this plane tonight" HSF: "let's just all sing sing sing weeeeeeeeeeee!! singing is a happiness., weeeeeeeeeee!!!" Cancer T: "chai toh chai hay, ta la tang la hey, town tor tor tae town wooo woooooo" (no idea what the hell I'm saying) No idea what is going on? Everyone, CLICK here: [link] And reread the first paragraph, then you'll know. ....Pisces B is fangirl-ly shocked, "OMG! OMG! IT'S GACKT-KUN!!!!!!!" the rest of the guys shouted: hey what about us, we're here, hello? we sang too..." .......Gackt slowly approaches to Pisces B, his tender lips slowly opened, and whispered: "Pisces B, baby, what is that...thing on your face?" Pisces B panics and talks to herself just like what Homer Simpson always used to do..."oh no, is there tears on my face, what is it, oh no, it must be the Kentucky fried chicken fatty skins stuck on my face OH SO EMBARRASSING!!" ....Gackt replies: "Pisces B, there is something, your..., there's ...an angelic natural beauty covering nicely all over your beautiful face" ''AWWWW in girly voices by the rest of the non-important band members, B suddenly fangirl-ly faints, Gackt is about to come closer to give Pisces B a perfect CPR...a one-in-a-million life time CPR ....., he's coming closer...closer and... "WAKE UP! B. WAKEUP!" ....Taurus E shouted, Pisces B screams: "You're not Gackt-kun, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" B:"Where are we?" E: "We're on an island, you've been unconscious for the past 5 hours!!'' Pisces B looks around, there's the ocean in front of us, bunch of pineapple trees, and lots of sand around us...but, B: "where's everyone?" E: um, you might want to turn around Pisces B turns around, she sees a violent hot-headed Pisces M walking around in circle like a socially-awkward nerd and shouts: "WHERE'S MY SCORPIO POOP POOP"? She's in a meltdown, she's crying and epic-pmsing: "I WANT MY POOP POOP, AHHHH! ALL I COULD FIND WAS HIS MUSLIM HAT!! I'M GOING TO DIE DIE DIE IF I CAN'T FIND FIND FIND HIM" ..... Pisces B looks further ahead, she sees Cancer and EI Mexican having a staring contest, its so intense, its on, the war is on!! E: "B, they've been having a staring contest for the past 5 hours, I think they are going to choke each other to death in any minute" B, still daydreaming about her Gackt-kun going shirtless and rubbing his own titties, E quickly pinches B's cheeks and yells at her. E: "B, STOP IT!! Stop daydreaming!!!!! We' re going to die, save us!!!!!!!" B: "E.., shiiiiiiiiiii! .......or else I'll say Down..." E: "Don't do it!" B: "...With" E: "Noo...noo...don't" B: "Webster!!" E quickly collapses onto the sand and starts daydreaming in a hurry. The shirtless wet Down With Websters band members all appear in E's head and E starts zombie-dancing and singing: E: "Whoa is me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so Whoa!!!!!!!!!!!!!" B: "LOL wake up E!!" E (starts doing the moon dance and keeps singing): "I~TRY~TO~TELL~U~WHAT~U~WANT~TO~HEAR~BUT I'M WRONG!!" B: "........." E: "I PROBABLY WON'T AMOUNT TOO MUCH BUT THIS SONG~" Out of nowhere, Captain Taurus pops into the scene and splashes E's face with a bucket of holly water. E: Ahhhhhhhhh, they were about to give me CPR!! *SADNESS* T: You guys, let's get our sh!t act together, there's no sh!t time to waste, let's be logical and come up with an idea to get out of this sh!thole!! All three girls look at each other. T: Let's see what the daily horoscope section of this newspaper I'm randomly holding is talking about, let astrology tells us what we should do!! E: TOTALLY!! WOOT!! WOOT!! B: Captain, check what they said about Pisces, I want to know if there's any relationship advice for my sign, please please please!! Uh oh, EI hears it, turns his face around and looks straight at Captain Jen, Cancer T sees a golden opportunity, an opening! Quickly lands a sucker punch on EI's face and happily says: Cancer: I WIN! I WIN! WOOH WOOH! B!TCH U GOT OWNED! YOU MY B!TCH NOW!! EI didn't seem to care, however he starts walking like a little b!tch, walks straight up to the girls, and calmly says: EI: What are you guys doing, first of all, I don't want to upset you guys but, let's be calm and hear me out, I would like to say...I personally don't care about astrology but...I still recognize that astrology is 100% fake. Taurus E and J gets up in EI's face and starts threatening EI. E: Shut up you little b!tch, who gives you the right to voice your trolling opinion, shut the bumba.clot up mon! EI: E, why you being mean to me and Captain Jen, remember this, you supposed to love me a long time, you know you want me, I'm your Jensen Ackles, I'm your Dean Win... Captain Jen interrupts and says "OH NO YOU DIDN'T!", everyone in the scene does the *finger-snap*! Even cancer who's standing afar does his finger-snap too! EI quickly panics, kneels down and goes in his fetal position again and starts to cry like a little b!tch... EI: *Tears* all I ever wanted was to have friends in the horoscope section, I'm so lonely, so lonely, Mr. Lonely, I have nobody, to call my own girl! Cancer finally walks toward to the group, and calmly says. "Ladies, don't be so hard on my little b!tch, I hate to break it to y'all, but..., truthfully, last year, EI got cheated on by his astrologer boyfriend, and I was in disbelief when EI told me this, his astrologer bf actually cheated on him with a fat extreme religious, fat, ugly-looking man., so please, guys, leave this liddo b!tch alone." EI: "NOOOOO! Cancer Tae, you weren't supposed to tell, I'm gonna kill you, you stupid golden nip homo! you E-bully! you damn recovering trollaholic..." Cancer T: EI, you're sensitive, don't do that in front of me EI: "OH NO U DIDN'T* (everyone in the scene snaps their fingers AGAIN)...what you called me, u bloody fool?" Cancer T: "You mad? Oh why you mad? I ain't mad so why you mad? you know what I just said, you speak English, you understand English?? I said, you are s-e-n-s-a-t-i-f-f, do I really have to correctly spell it out for you?" Taurus E: "That's enough guys, we understand now okay, we forgive EI, he's a forever lonely jerk off, we get it now!" Everyone agrees, and now they want to think of a real strategic getting-the-f*ck-out-of-here plan... but suddenly..., someone from far above, up in the sky, starts laughing like a joker, who is it? it's not E, not Cancer T, not Captain T, nor B., nor the guy next door, nor the token black guy, who is it? Everyone looks up, someone is in mid-air, flying on his parachute, slowly falling, and falling, and falling onto the sand, he reveals himself, with a boombox in his hand. ''YO! YO! YO! He starts rapping and boom boxing in his 50 cents music..., "You say you a gangsta, but you never pop nothin, you say you a wanksta, then you need to stop frontin." Everyone shouted: "wanksta please! get the jerk off filmrating outta there!!" Wanksta immortal or moron outlaw was supposed to be dead but he got away and now being cocky about his scorpio b*tches... Suddenly he had it, he's fed up with life, if he had any life that is.... Outlaw couldn't hold his psychotic rage, he starts to laugh like a troll-face, he is freaking out of control, he freaking pulls out his C4 bomb and starts threatening the whole crowd. Everyone panics, but not EI. He quickly runs toward to Moron Outlaw, struggle with him, and yells: EI: "Everyone! I got this, I will self-sacrifice! I will die with him! If I ever get to live, please be my friends, I need somebody, I don't want to be a loser anymore" They held each other violently, there's a bonfire nearby (yes, it magically appears), EI and Outlaw grabbed each other straight into the bonfire, a huge explosion rams into scene, Everyone screams, Taurus E: "NOOOO!!!!!!" Captain T: "YAYYYYYYYYY! I MEAN NOOOO!!!!!!!" Pisces B: "NOOOO!!!!!!!" Cancer T: "You're sensitive." EI did what he had to, it was a heroic moment, he died for all of us, we know deep down inside he is not that troll we used to hate, there is a sorrow, sympathetic, and pathetic yet soft side in him, if we look deep down inside, he is just like all of us, except he is ugly, girly, stupid, but he is a hero in this touching moment. Then *fast*forward*..., Few hours later, everyone is hungry, they have no idea what to expect next. They gather around, sitting in a circle, they are quiet, they panic, and they are starving, ...... Everyone also wonder where Pisces M went. 5 seconds later, Pisces M magically appears in front of them, M: Ta la!! you guys missed me?" Everyone looks at her, their face turned zombie-like, they outrageously run into her they scream and grab M: "we hungry, we want food, we want tuna fish, tuna sandwich, tuna cake, tuna waffle!!" M is scared, she screams but no one gives a rat ass about it, then, .......................WHOA, there's a portal magically appears! Someone pops out of the portal, he seems to be appeared in a white knight-shining armor along with his newly designed Hip Hop Muslim hat. "LET GO OF HER! SHE BELONGS TO ME!" Everyone looks at him, OMG! it's...it's... IT'S SCORPIO POOP POOP!! Pisces M screams with tears of joy. Scorpio yells with tears of joy. they look at each other from blocks away, straight into each others eyes, pin down on each others soul, ... (drag to 3:00) : ---) [link] listen to it till the end...this is what the music background sounds like when those two looked at each other from miles distance. And I eeeeeeeee ahhhhh I will always, loooooooooooooooove u wooooooooooooooooooooo~ Narrator in the background says: True love does exist, it brings these two lovebird together, they wanted nothing but an eternal life together, tenderly and romantically holding each others like Beauty and the Beast, they cry together, laugh with each other True love does exist and it blah blah blah, blah blah blah, and it blahs, and blah blah blah at the end and blah blah die blah The crowd went awwww, Pisces M and Scorpio held each other tight, there goes a happy ending for these two., how lovely. Taurus E: "We should throw a wedding for these two, who's the Ring-bearer, maybe we should text msg Gollum and see if he wants to do it!!" Captain T: "I hope Jensen Ackles is there as one of the groomsmen *wink*" Pisces B (daydreams about her Gackt-kun) and moans: "give it to me, make it rough!, yea baby yeah'' Everyone looks at Pisces B, Taurus E: Let her have it, she's having daydream sex. Relax guys, it's just a fangirl hard on, no big deal!! Cancer T finally talks after being muted all this time. Cancer: "and I eeeeee I eeeeeee ahhhhhhhhhh, will always, love youuuuu U ahhhhhh will always'' ...he runs out of breath and passes out. However, everyone scratches their head, how can they have a wedding in this island, how? Somewhere nearby, there's a tree, if you look up, there's something, and UH OH, hell no, fo real, nah ah, say what! say what! Now that's what I'm talking about!... What is it about? Oh, a group of ninja-looking monkeys jumped right out of the tree, they're all in ninja-turtle cow-wa-bung-ga mode and gathers around the horoscope crowd. This becomes a planet of the ape scene, the monkeys start pounding their chest, its leader, walks up to the astrology group, starts going giggity giggity, giggity goo dances, and happily said, "B!TCHES!!! I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The whole horoscope crowd is in disbelief, with tears of joy, "it's... Doodoo monkey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Doodoo: "Welcome to the Doo Doo Island, you want a wedding, you GOT yourself a wedding! We're going to host a wedding here tomorrow, now come with me, come rest in our 6 star hotel-ish monkey tree house, and Pisces May, *tears* I still have a crush on you, but..I will grant you and Scorpio Poop a doodoo island wedding!" Pisces M cries: "I know *tears* Doodoo, I know you wuv me long time, *tears*, all I ever wanted for you is to be happy, but my heart belongs to Poop Poop, I love him like a love song, baby, I really love him like a love song and I repeat-peat-peat" Scorpio: "Shut up b*tch, and get married already!" Everyone goes to the heart of the island, gets rest up and prepare for the big day tomorrow. THE END. Next time on episode 8 What will happen in this wedding, are there going to be "oh no u didn't" drama going on? Is Captain Taurus going to find a hot handsome groomsman? Is Taurus E going to find the legendary ringbearer Gollum and also secretly go find Reverend Chris? Is Pisces B going to find the love of her life in this wedding? Is Cancer T going shirtless again, and crash the wedding party? Are the "May Not Poop couple" going to ever last? Is the soon to be wife going to sleep with a random stranger in the wedding, before saying yes to her significant others? Tune in next time on Episode 9 Astrology Story Show clothing and makeup, is brought to you by The Yahoo Fashion Company,... ........................, now on the episode of SO YOU THINK YOU CAN FART........ Never mind...., hope this episode didn't confuse anyone..., Breena, I'm done! WOOT!! It's your turn to shine